Since the end of 2013 after I got my bachelor degree, I had a plan to pursue a master degree in France. At first, I wanted to finish all the process of enrollment before telling it to the pastor and his wife, because I was afraid that they would forbid me to go. I thought, if I had finished everything, they would have not been able to forbid me to go. God reminded me that if I really considered the pastor and his wife as my spiritual parents, I would surely tell my plan to them, not hide it. Even if they had forbidden me to go, it would have been because of a spiritual consideration, and it would have been for my own good.
At the Old and New Service last year, I told the pastor and his wife about my plan, and he asked me to pray, because it was the year of jubilee. I said amen to that.
In the year of jubilee, I felt God's work that changed me
- First, God released me from being proud. When I prepared my enrollment to a campus in France, I relied on myself. I applied for a scholarship, but I sent the wrong documents even though I had already checked it thoroughly.
The grades that I was proud of were not sent, so I did not get the scholarship. The other time, I searched for other scholarship, I paid attention to the deadline, but I missed it.
God rebuked me about my pride. I begged for God's mercy because I relied on myself. I started to follow God's will. God brought me to be more diligent in prayer. Every time I listened to God's word, I felt like He always pointed at my pride until I was really able to get free from it.
- God taught me to let go all worries. It was June, and I still did not get any scholarship, while my courses would start on September. It was impossible to find a scholarship in less than 3 months. However, I received God's word several times, saying "Do not worry".
I surrendered everything to God. Whether God let me go or not, may it glorify His name only.
I did not lose my hope, but I surrendered all. I believed that God would provide me with the best thing. Suddenly, there was an announcement about an additional time to apply for the scholarship, which normally would be held on September. I felt that God had opened a way miraculously. It should not be possible, but God could do everything beyond man's reason.
- God also taught me to be obedient, although it seemed that it did not make sense. At the beginning of 2014, my bachelor thesis' supervisor invited me to present my bachelor thesis in a conference in Thailand on June. I told my mother about this plan, but she did not allow me to go because she did not feel in peacesince I would go only with my female supervisor.
At that time, I felt that my mother worried too much, but I obeyed her anyway. It turned out that my interview for the scholarship was held at the same day of my departure to Thailand. If I had decided to go to Thailand, I would have lost my last chance to get a scholarship.
- After I came here, I felt that the courses were very difficult and very different from what I had learnt in Indonesia. God always brought me to pray. This time, God emphasized about being thankful. God told me several times through His word to be thankful in every condition. I gave thanks to God that He let me free from many sins this year. I believed that in the next year, God will do much more in me until someday I will be able to welcome His second coming.
God blesses us.