I give thanks to the Lord for His great mercy in my life until today. I feel He is with me all along 2008. Some matters have happened to me in 2008, in which I can feel God's great mercy in my life. I will bear witness three matters as follows:
- Sin about arrogance.
I give thanks that God has sent me to this place (Netherland) because it is to make me realize sin about arrogance that has been in my life unconsciously. Praise the Lord that He has given me good achievement in my study in Indonesia. But I did not realize that it had made me arrogant. I often felt able in my study and belittle my friends. I did not realize it until I was in this place where God lets me experience difficulties in class, difficulties in doing tasks, failing examinations, et cetera. God rebuked me about my arrogance. I asked forgiveness to God and the renewal of life from the arrogance to the humbleness of heart. I can feel and confess that all things I can do and have are from God only.
- Prayer before going outside house and after going home
I always pray before going outside house and after going home, no matter how far or near the place I go in order to ask God's protection. Continuously, it has become a habit I do unconsciously without any seriousness in praying. Praise the Lord because God rebuked me without any accident at all. This semester I had to go to another city once a week. On my way home, God startled me in my heart. I looked around that there was no one I recognize with the condition that I was far away from my house and family and I did not know the language there. I felt that God is with me and it was amazing. God reminded me to pray before going outside house and after going home more seriously to ask His protection and escorting for me, to give thanks seriously every time after I arrived in my house.
- About prioritizing godliness and ministry more than anything especially in busy time
Formerly, this matter actually has become a commitment in my life but I cannot feel the effort to prioritize godliness and ministry while I was in Indonesia. Through some matters God has let me experience it, He reminds me to prioritize godliness and ministry to the Lord always in any condition. Committing three main services to the Lord has been implanted in my life. Here, in this place, I feel the need to be shepherded is bigger. Nevertheless, Satan is not quiet. He tries to hinder my ministry. There were many times my tasks from school were so many while I did not have much time until I forsook and postponed my translation ministry. This was absolutely false. At the time I forsook my ministry, not better condition I got but worse. Praise the Lord that Holy Spirit still gave me sensitivity so that I could feel that. My study was getting worse and there is no peace in my heart. God warned me that there was false thing in my spiritual life that had to be corrected. Returning in faithful godliness and ministry, I can see and feel that God finishes all things, beginning from the little ones unto the big ones. God has helped in matters I cannot think.
Through this testimony, I give thanks that the word of God always answers all questions in my life and leads me. Little by little I begin to see what the plan of God is, that I must be in this place. The most special thing I feel now is that the Lord wants to form my life and He wants to change my characteristics I did unconsciously. The word of God always says that we need not pour out the content of our heart to men but God only and He must help. I experience it in this place, where I am alone. I need not pour out the content of my heart because there is no one can receive it, and the word of God comes to answer all my problems.
I give thanks also because I have followed broadcast service for two years. It is really not easy because no one knows whether I commit my godliness or not except radio team, whether I am serious or not, where I sleep or not because I am alone. Therefore I can feel very private and close relationship with God. I am responsible for what I do directly to Him. Others do not need to see because God Himself sees me directly. I also give thanks to God and to internet radio and video team because I get a bonus to hear the word of God in some visit services through broadcast. I can feel what Rev. Widjaja has said that he becomes as full recharged battery after the visit service.
At the end of this year, I give thanks to God from the bottom of my heart for all of His mercy and escorting in my life. It cannot be said with any word because there are so many miracles of God's words I can see. I feel that He really loves me, cares, protects and brings up my life as the apple of His eye. Please pray for me. If it is the will of God, I will finish my doctoral study. With my physical eyes, it is impossible to do because many things must be finished but let the will of God be done. Please pray for me also that God may use me to bear witness and spread the teaching word here. That is my testimony. I hope it can be blessing and strength for you.