Peace and grace in the Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you for the opportunity to bear witness about the power of God’s help in my life.
It is a grace of God for us when we can continue our study but what can we do if the lesson at school or university is contradictory to Shepherding Word or the class is conducted at the time we have to serve and minister to God? We can only cry and hope in God’s Word. We have to let God work. Maybe it takes long time but it is due time
.There are two things I want to testify as follows.
- It has happened longtime ago because of God’s help. I give thanks to Him because He has miraculously provided all things. I have chosen vocational senior high school in order to work soon after the graduation. Nevertheless, my will is not God’s. The first year happened fluently with my good achievement and my study did not disturb my service and ministry to God but I found difficulty in the second year. I had to do internship program in a hospital for three months (October 2009 - January 2010). It means I could not persevere anymore in doing my service to God. I realized that there was something wrong in my life. It became untidy and would be destroyed someday. It began from bad marks at school and many more things. In the beginning of February, I was back to study at school and thought to increase my marks but not more than one month I had to do internship program again in other hospital for three months and half. I could not be shepherded well at that time and God reminded me with His way. I could not all my plans do even the facts were contradictory with them. I began to be disappointed to God.
In my loneliness and hopelessness, I began to think “God, where are You? Formerly I was not like this, why is my condition like this?” And many more unimportant questions. I began to serve to God again in September 2010 and I got the rebuke of God’s Word to repair my faithfulness in the shepherdingbecause physical things will be added if the spiritual ones are prioritized. I shocked and remembered where I had gone until this time. My spirituality was dry although I served God. I confessed to God “God please forgive me, I am only sinful human who always sins and makes your heart grieved.”
I give thanks because He still gives me opportunity to repair all things. I learn from the beginning to be shepherded and God began to arrange my life little by little. He made my life beautiful and provided all things. My first thinking was working after the graduation from senior high school but in fact He has provided great blessings for me so that I can continue my study in university. He lets me not only experience the time of difficulty but also continue my study. It is more than a scholarship for me.
- I was accepted to study in a Health Institute in August 2010. Afterwards, I thought that I would have more time for God. I began to plan some things. It seemed fluent as the past time and there was no difficulty to do the service to God. In the first semester I got Religion Subject in university. At first I was so happy but then I shocked because the lecturer’s religion is not Christianity. I thought that I was the only Christian student in my class or the lecturer entered wrong class but he explained that every student had to learn five kinds of religion, namely Islam, Catholic, Christianity, Hinduism, and Buddhism. It means I had to learn to hear, read, and understand the religions in order to do my test. It was a difficult thing whereas the Shepherding Word always says expressly that we need to hear and read the Bible only. I felt a strange thing at that time. There were only two meetings for Christianity Subject from among total sixteen meetings so I would read the teaching of other religion more. I forgot the ability of God to do all things. I thought ”It does not matter because it is a lecture in one semester only, it is impossible that I do not read it, et cetera”.
I began to be confused and told other person about my condition but I heard false voice“It does not matter.” I was happy because the answer satisfied my will but it indeed was not in line with the Word. I prayed “permit me only for this time, Lord” but I got headache every time the lecturer from other religions came to the class although I had been healthy before. I sat in the rear of the class, so I did not understand the lecture. I began to blame Godbecause I was afraid that I could not answer anything in my test.
Finally, I had to do the final examination. I got headache again when I wanted to learn the lecture as if my head could not receive it until I gave up and decided to study early in the morning before the daybreak. I thought I was too tired at that time. Nevertheless, my plan was not God’s. I could not study early in the morning before the daybreak because there was no supply of the electricity. The daybreak came and I had to go to campus. My friends were busy with their trick to cheat. I was asked whether I had prepared the cheat or studied. I answered that I had not prepared it nor studied. They continued asking me how it would be when I could not do the examination whose materials were so many. I only smiled at that time. I had fear inside my heart because I could not learn anything except Christianity lesson. I surrendered to God and prayed for His help. A miracle happenedthat I could do the test well. I shocked after the test finished and all students went out of the class because all students had gotten short message about the answer via cellular phone while we were doing the test. I also got it but I did not bring my cellular phone in the class. Thus, my answer was different with other students. I thought that it would have been me alone who failed and had to take that subject again next time.
In shorts, I got mark “A”. It is impossible for me but nothing is impossible for God. I ask His forgiveness because I have been disappointed to Him and asked Him to open my ears to hear other teaching or strange voice as well as supposed my plan is better and doubted His love. I give thanks because the plan of God happens in my life.
I give thanks to Rev. Widjaja and his wife who always pray for me. I give thanks also to all my friends in Youth Service. I realize that my fight is still long. Therefore, I always need your prayer that I keep on being strong and of good courage.The Lord has taught me many things.
I learn that nothing is impossible for God when all things seem impossible.I learn that He has guided my steps when I do not understand His plan in my life.I learn that He keeps on strengthening me and saying to me that I can do all things when I actually cannot do anything.I learn that God says He never gives me the spirit of fear when I am in fear.I learn that He never leaves me alone nor forsakes me when I feel lonely.I also learn that the real success of life is not in intelligence but in our humbleness before God when we confess that we are unworthy, powerless, and always hope and rely on His grace.And... I give thanks because God still gives me one opportunity to come to Him just the way I am without hiding or asking anything.
That is my testimony. I hope it can be strength for us.
God blesses you.